Employee of the month
by callmeportgas
Summary: In which Minato accidentally sends Sakura a very inappropriate picture. And she's his boss. MinaSaku, kind of crack/fluff/eventual smut.


This is it. He's going to get yelled at, humiliated and fired.

"Oh, this is not my day," Minato muttered, staring at his reflection, his voice still too loud in the silence of the bathroom. "Nope." He took a deep breath, trying to fix his smile in place and failing miserably. He ran a hand through shaggy blond hair nervously. It would take a while to get another job at the same level. He couldn't afford to sit at home for too long and made a mental note to look into part-time jobs.

He regretted getting out of bed already.

There was a loud knock at the door and he nodded, smiling at himself. Too much...teeth. "I'm coming. Go get your backpack, Naruto!" His eyes watered at the cheerful response. He had bills to pay and a kid to raise. Minato was many things, but he wasn't a coward. Jiraiya had told him to stand his ground and explain before he was fired, so he'd do just that. He'd tell his boss why she now knows what his dick looks like.

"I'll be in the car, don't forget to grab your lunch!"

Fucking Danzo _._

 _I swear I did it to help you, bro! There's no way she'll turn that down._ Minato fumed as he stared at the text, with Naruto staring at him curiously from the passenger seat. He put his phone away and smiled at the younger blond.

"All strapped in?" he asked as he started the car, eyes sweeping over his son to make sure he'd put his belt on. Naruto had decided to wear his red Kurama™ t-shirt again, paired with his green Gamakichi™ pants. His son had never been afraid of mixing it up. "Did you grab your lunch?"

"Yeah. Is everything okay, dad?" the eight-year-old asked, wide blue eyes blinking at him. He was young but Naruto knew him better than anyone and he could see him struggling.

"It's just work," Minato said, smiling tiredly at the serious nod he got in response. "You excited? I think your friend's back in school today, right?" Naruto nodded excitedly, even as he stared almost unblinkingly out the window, watching the outside world with a curiosity Minato desperately hoped would never burn out.

"Yeah, that's what Sasuke said. School's gonna be more fun today!" he said, bouncing as much as the seat belt would let him. Minato listened patiently, keeping his eyes firmly on the road as Naruto told him his plans for school that day, which included helping Hinata pick flowers so her dad would finally learn how to smile.

"Have a wonderful day, kiddo and be gentle with the flowers. I love you," Minato ruffled his hair playfully as Naruto yelled 'love you too!" and jumped out of the car, running over to his friends as soon as he spotted them. Minato kept smiling at the picture they made, waving at them when they all turned to look at him. As they slowly walked to the school doors, Minato let his smile fade faster than Naruto's interest in maths. His let his forehead rest on the steering wheel for a moment, mustering up all his courage for the day.

Time to get to work.

"Ah, Namikaze?" He looked up from his file, startled eyes meeting sharp ones as Kisame grinned down at him. "The boss is asking for you." His knowing smile sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine. As the secretary, Kisame would be privy to a lot of what went on in the building. That probably included the cause of his sleepless night.

"I'll go now, thank you," he mumbled, sliding his chair back as he stepped away from his booth, sending a strained smile Kisame's way.

"No problem." He wasn't sure if he liked the rumbling chuckle that accompanied Kisame's response. Minato nearly speed-walked to the large office on the other side of the floor, feeling suffocated. Was everyone watching? Did they know? Itachi nodded, Genma waved, Kakashi didn't look up from his book. Completely normal responses. They didn't know. His palms were getting sweaty, but he'd worn his best shirt. His shoes were scruffy, but his pants were well-tailored. He imagined them as his armor, ready for a battle he knew he would lose. He didn't bother with hesitating at the heavy door, just knocked twice and waited for permission, which he got immediately.

"Good morning," he greeted as soon as he opened the door, hoping his expression didn't betray how scared he felt. Oh god, Naruto wanted to visit the beach next month. "You asked for me?" His mouth went dry as soon as he noticed the sharp glint in her eyes. Haruno Sakura smiled up at him from her desk, all teeth and one little dimple in her right cheek. Her red leather jacket hung on the back of her chair, her well-muscled arms on display in the white muscle tee she always seemed to favor. This is the woman his idiotic friend thought would be won over by a dick pic.

"Good morning, Minato. Please, sit," she turned away from her computer to face him completely. He did as asked, feeling confused at the lack of hostility. And the wine bottle on the table. "Now, you know why I called you in here?"

"I...Um, the picture?" he paused as she opened a drawer and whipped out two wine glasses. She opened the bottle easily, and he tried not to be too obvious about staring at the muscle-cuts in her forearm. "Because I accidentally sent you a dick pick."

She paused in pouring the wine, staring at him. "Accidentally?"

"Um, yes. I'm so, so sorry. It wasn't even me, actually," he babbled. "I mean, it was me in the picture. But my friend was the one who sent it. As a joke." _After I admitted to my massively embarrassing crush_.

"Oh, I see," she finished pouring the wine and handed one of the glasses to him. He took it with no small amount of hesitation, wondering if they were celebrating his departure.

"Why, uh, why are we...drinking?" he asked as she grabbed her glass. She met his bewildered gaze with a smile too sharp and eyes too dull. He wondered if he asked the wrong question.

"You've been looking for a spot in Sarutobi's department, right?" she took a large sip, green eyes a little too bright. "Orochimaru's, well, not there anymore. I recommended you. He's agreed to take you on. Congratulations!" He could only blink rapidly in response.

"...you're serious?" His heart felt like it was swelling, but the weight of his relief kept him firmly on his chair.

"Of course. Are you? You're one of my best. No one works as well with Kakashi," she lamented.

"Ah, well," he rubbed the back of his neck, the tips of his ears flushing pink. "I'd rather not get my hands bloody, what with an impressionable kid at home. Sarutobi's people work behind the scenes, and I think that's where I need to be. But thank you. So much." She nodded, understanding where he came from as she continued to sip the wine. He hurried to start on his.

"Well, if you're ever interested in coming back, you'll always have a place with us." He could only nod gratefully before he remembered his initial fear.

"Wait, what about the...picture?" he asked, wondering why she hadn't scolded him yet.

"What about it?" Her face was blanker than Naruto's list of girls he might want to marry-Minato understood Ino's confusion over it but Naruto's very serious decision to marry Sasuke was a secret he would keep until they were grown up. He took Sakura's lack of response as a cue to move on and never speak of it again. He was good at following instructions.

"When do I start?" She didn't look up from her now empty glass.

"In two weeks. Good luck."

* * *

So...this was inspired by a meme. Can anyone guess which one? I'll probably write more. Some fluff. Some romance. Some smut. I'll need to edit this a lot, I wrote it in an hour before the urge went out the window...

its a memespiration.


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